The important thing to remember is that you can’t control how someone will treat you, but you can control how you react to their nonsense. If you are getting bad vibes from a S.O, your best move is to talk to them about it but if the talk goes nowhere, walk the f*ck away. The more time you waste with people who don’t want the same thing as you, the longer you delay finding someone who does.
Are they inconsistent?
You’re setting yourself up for heartbreak if you are expecting to be treated like a queen 24/7, and while no one is perfect, general respectfulness is the least they can do. If the person you’re dating is sometimes amazing but often awful then is it really worth it? It’s sometimes considered taboo to call people out on their bad behaviour because it makes us look difficult, but if someone is treating you terribly, making you sad, mad, or angry, then you have every right to tell them.
Will they not commit to you?
A lot of us do this to ourselves when we meet someone really cool who has told us that they don’t want a relationship but they want to keep hanging out because they enjoy spending time with you. Because you really enjoy hanging out with them too, you’re sitting there thinking “well if I hang out with them for a few months, that will convince them to want to date me”. Well, newsflash sis, if they say they’re not looking for a relationship, move on. Why would you want to try to convince someone who has no taste anyway?
Are your needs being met?
You’re not a high-maintenance woman if your personal needs aren’t met in a relationship . This is something a lot of women deal with or are told to compromise, but this isn’t something to compromise (unless it’s something ridiculous.) Your needs are important! If your love language is quality time together or being with someone who physically shows their love to you, you don’t have to give these up because of a relationship you’re in. If they are not giving you the things you need in a relationship after you tell them…multiple times, they are clearly not the right person for you.
Do you feel like you can’t talk to them?
The key to every good relationship is communication. If you feel like you need to talk to your partner about something important but feel like a burden to them, this is a red flag. When dating someone, keeping conversations open all the time is necessary. These may be about the way they treat you or about what you want or need from the relationship. Having these chats regularly doesn’t make you needy at all, it is normal. If you are unable to talk to your partner like this it might eventually lead to an argument that can end up being more detrimental to the relationship than it would have been if you had discussed it sooner.
Do you fulfil your needs from other people?
If something exciting happens at work or you’ve found out some juicy gossip, the first person you should want to tell in a healthy fulfilling relationship is your partner. But if you find yourself confiding in a friend or work wife/husband, that is a sign maybe you’re not getting enough support out of your relationship. If you’re put in a position where you think about whether you want to talk to your partner or the friend that gives you the emotionally affirmation you need when it comes to big life events, that it a clear indication that it’s probably time to end the relationship.
Written by Sophia Ivory
Curly hair and she don’t care, this stylish babe plays by her own rules. With a love for dance and all things body positive, you’ll usually find her searching out the latest fashion trends and digging through local thrift stores. Word of warning, don’t bring your dachshund around her, she’ll want to keep it.
Check out her Instagram for all things goals! @sophiaivory