Sex toys have well and truly become mainstream. There’s no reason to feel shame or embarrassment at taking control of your sex life and fully celebrating your body and how wonderful it is. These days, there truly is a sex toy for everybody and every body so if you’ve been thinking about buying a toy: The time really is now.
Customer Satisfaction Specialist at Adulttoymegastore Sophie McGrath says buying a sex toy can be as fun as using it – just don’t get overwhelmed by the selection available.
“I think generally, people can find it a bit daunting seeing just how many options there are out there. But really, you should see a carefully curated large selection of toys for sale as reassuring. It means there’s definitely going to be one that suits you”.
“To start – you need to find a trusted retailer. Look for a place that only stocks toys and look for a store that employs people who know what they’re talking about,” Sophie says.
An online shop should not mean no help.
The key is not to go for cheap and nasty products from retailers like Wish and Aliexpress – a toy that costs $2 is possibly not something you want to put into your vagina or pop on your penis.
The adult toy industry isn’t regulated, though it’s being looked into by the International Standards Authority. And if something terrible happens with your body and your toy – you’ll have no recourse if the organisation you brought it from is some random factory in God Knows Where.
Nicola Relph, opened Adulttoymegastore in 2009. She says the industry has run without much regulation for too long.
“We have always taken the approach that we want to protect our customers so we have always put their safety first despite the lack of standards and regulation. This involves only importing products from organisations that are reputable and safe.”
So step one: Find a reputable retailer – Adulttoymegastore is New Zealand owned and operated with a hotline for customers.
Don’t spend forever researching
Look for toys that catch your eye and then read the reviews – usually people will say what they like and don’t like about a toy. You can then work out from them, what might work for you. A good online store should have fulsome reviews too and guides to toys. Read a few to see what appeals. Spending hours researching will only put pressure on you when the toy arrives – so don’t worry!
Don’t run before you can walk
There are great beginner toys available – bullet vibes are highly recommended as a first toy if you have a vagina. They are small and compact, easy to use, and can be used for clitoral stimulation as well as internally. They’re also generally reasonably priced. So, if it’s not right for you, you can just try something else. Starting with a bullet or a compact basic vibrator is your best bet if you have a vagina.
If you have a penis a beginner masturbator can be reasonably priced – you could also start smaller with a Tenga Egg or if you’re using it with a partner a cock ring.
Work out what you like
Don’t overthink it. There are so many toys out there – just give one a try.
If you’re looking for clitoral stimulation try a clitoral vibrator or suction device, a bullet vibrator, a lay-on vibrator or wand. G-spot stimulation is best with a dildo or a G-spot vibrator or glass toy – search “G-spot” and you’ll likely get a bunch of results. If you’re looking for both clitoral and vaginal stimulation try a rabbit vibrator. If you have a penis and you’re wanting something lifelike that feels real – try a fleshlight.
If you’re part of a couple and you want to improve your sex life or add a bit of excitement, try a couple vibrator or a vibrating cock ring. If you want to try something a bit kinky try a couple kit – There come with a mix of products.
If you’re looking for an anal toy – start small! And make sure it is designed to be an anal toy. It will need a flared base. Try a trainer set to start.
Check the details
When you’ve found a toy you like you need to ask yourself the following questions and answer them by reading the product details:
- How big is the insert-able length?
- How wide is it?
- Will it be comfortable inside me?
- Is it waterproof? This will mean you can use it in the bath or shower. That’s a good idea for a first toy.
- Does it need batteries and does it come with them?
If it looks a little complicated – see if you can watch a video on how to use it or see if there’s a guide available online.
Don’t forget lube
Toys are always better with lube. The three main types of lubricant are water-based, oil-based, and silicone-based. For beginner’s, a water-based lubricant is a good place to start, as they are user-friendly, easy to clean, and cause little irritation. Water-based lubricants are also latex-friendly, meaning they are safe to use alongside all of your sex toys with no issues. But they’re not good for anal because they evaporate faster than an oil-based lube. A best-seller such as the Wet Stuff Gold is a good place to start – make sure you opt for the pump top for easy application. It’s important to note that a lot of water-based lubricants contain glycerine (sugar), which you may want to steer clear of as it can cause yeast infections for women, so always ensure you double check the ingredients. A silicone-based lubricant, such as the best-selling System Jo Silicone Lubricant, is likely to last longer, and can be used in the bath or shower. This type of lube is much more versatile, and as it is hypoallergenic, it’s perfect for those with sensitive skin or common allergies. The only downside of silicone-based lube is that you can’t pair it with your favourite silicone toys, as it will likely damage them, but it’s totally safe with condoms and non-silicone toys. Oil based lube is best for anal sex. It’s also important to note that, if you plan on using your new oil lube with a partner, oil-based lubes are not compatible with latex condoms! So, ensure you have some non-latex ones handy.
Couples are encouraged to buy together to make sure you’re on the same page and everybody is comfortable.
The key really though is to just have fun. Don’t let Victorian-era attitudes about sex stop you from having a great time and discovering all the things your body loves.
Written by Sophie
Sophie works for Adulttoymegastore and spends her days offering up advice and products to help Kiwi’s make the most of their sex lives. Adulttoymegastore is the place that New Zealanders come for everything adult, whether it is to gain knowledge, share experiences or to buy toys to add to their collection.