Sex Advice: We're Talking About Sex Toys | Relationships

Our sex advice column is bought to you by Adult Toy Megastore.

We asked you which NSFW sex topics you were most interested in finding out more about and an overwhelming number of Kiwi women said they wanted to find out more about the world of sex toys. This week, our columnist dives into how to introduce toys into your relationship, how you can spice up your sex life using vibrating eggs and which toys can help you orgasm…fast!

I haven’t had much luck with vibrators in the past, are there any other sex toys you would recommend using?

The word vibrator covers a relatively large category of sex toys, so it can be difficult to narrow down what would be best suit. Your lack of luck with vibrators may also come down to the type of vibrator you were using – not all vibes are made the same! When first delving into the world of sex toys, many women will go for the cheaper options to test things out and see if a vibrator is something that they want to invest in. Unfortunately, the cheapest options out there can also be a bit of a let-down. That’s not to say that you need to spend the big bucks for a great vibrator – there are plenty of amazing, affordable options out there!

When the majority of people think about sex toys, they think of products that are designed to be used on your genitals. While this is true for the majority of the products out there, there are definitely some great alternatives. The nipples can be an erogenous zone for a lot of women, and I bet as soon as you read the word nipples, you automatically thought about clamps. You aren’t wrong, as clamps are a popular choice with nipple play but there is much more out there. Even using a vibrator on your nipples can amp up the stimulation. Or perhaps a feather tickler – something so soft that you can barely feel it there. Sometimes the gentlest touch can have the biggest impact!

How can I make my girlfriend more comfortable with my vibrator?

This is a bit of a tricky one to answer because it depends on why your girlfriend doesn’t feel comfortable with your vibrator. It has been said that if you are having sex, then you should be mature enough to talk about sex. Therefore, an open, honest and non-judgemental discussion probably wouldn’t go amiss here.

If she has never used a sex toy, then it may be the unknown, which is making her uneasy. If she is open to testing the waters with a vibe, then discuss buying her a vibrator of her own. Whether you are a heterosexual or homosexual couple, sharing toys is a bit of a no-no in some areas. One reason is that a woman’s PH level in her vagina won’t necessarily be the same as her partner’s, so for hygiene precautions, having your own internal products is a good idea.
Another thing to think about is whether the vibe you have currently has been used with a previous partner. It may be that she feels uneasy about you using something that was once used intimately with someone else. If so, discuss with her whether a new vibe would be something she’s more comfortable with.
Whether any of these points are the reason why she may not feel comfortable with a vibe, it is important to remember that her feelings are as valid as your own, even if you may disagree.

I recently heard that lube isn’t good for sex toys, is this true?

In some cases, this can be true! It all comes down to whether the material of the sex toy and the ingredients of the lubricant are compatible. For example, silicone toys are not generally compatible with silicone or oil-based lubricants. Mixing a silicone lubricant with a silicone toy can cause a reaction to occur, which would essentially melt the toy – and you definitely don’t want that! It also worth noting that this can happen if toys are stored against each other, so be sure to store your toys separately in cloth bags to help them last as long as possible.

This can also be said for TPR, TPE, rubber and jelly material toys as well. As a rule, if you are unsure exactly what material your toy is, then play it safe and stick with a water-based lubricant, as they are compatible with all sex toy materials.

My boyfriend and I are interested in spicing things up by trying out the Eggs but we aren’t 100% sure how they work/how much we should spend. Any recommendations?

Vibrating eggs, also known as love eggs, are an awesome product because there is a bit of variety when it comes to using them. Whether you stick to the bedroom, or venture out in public wearing the egg, handing your partner the remote is a great way to ramp up some sexual tension and let them take control.

When it comes to choosing which egg to go for, I would recommend aiming higher in budget. There’s nothing worse than having connectivity issues, no matter where you are. So as you go up in price, you also go up in reliability. Cal Exotics came out with a Embrace Lovers Remote Egg, which won’t break the bank, but has great battery life, reliability and plenty of settings to choose from!

What sex toy will help me orgasm the quickest?

If there was a single product which was a guaranteed way to a quick orgasm, then it would be a world-wide phenomenon! When it comes to orgasms, different folks have different strokes. This means that there isn’t a one size fits all sex toy. However, you can definitely narrow down what product might suit you best.

Clitoral stimulation is a good place to start as the clitoris is full of nerves and the majority of women can achieve orgasm via clitoral stimulation. The type of stimulation can vary though, even when it comes to vibration. Some women find that the type of vibration they need to achieve orgasm is something on the rumbly side of things, such as the Fifty Shades Freed Crazy For You Rechargeable Bullet Vibrator. This bullet vibe is well known for its strong vibrations and the big ‘O’s that come with it!

Another popular style of clitoral toy is the Womanizer and Satisfyer ranges. These ranges use air pulsing technology that are well known for bringing women to orgasm quickly.

Handy tips: change up your position! Our bodies tend to get compliant with positions and products, so try a different position out to see if that makes a difference. For example, lying on your stomach with your body weight pushing down on a bullet vibe may have a different affect than lying on your back.

With proper techniques, you can even make your female partner or yourself squirt using a vibrator. Click that link to find out how!

Want to ask your own question? Our sex advice columnist from Adulttoymegastore will be answering your questions every fortnight for the rest of 2018. Complete the form below and we’ll pass on your question anonymously.

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Written by Sophie

Sophie works for Adulttoymegastore and spends her days offering up advice and products to help Kiwi’s make the most of their sex lives. Adulttoymegastore is the place that New Zealanders come for everything adult, whether it is to gain knowledge, share experiences or to buy toys to add to their collection.