So, you and your partner are at the stage in your relationship when you’re both thinking of living together. It’s an exciting step, but how can you be sure you’re ready to be with your SO 24/7 if you’ve never done it before? If you’re hesitating, here are 6 things to consider before you make the leap.
Are you both financially stable?
Moving in together is a great way to start your future together on equal footing. If one of you isn’t financially capable of equally contributing to your shared living space, then maybe you should think about holding off for now. While living with a SO doesn’t mean you need to have a shared account, you should be able to share the cost of living in your home or at least, understand the financial boundaries before you sign the lease. Stress and anxiety can grow in a relationship when finances are involved so the best thing you can do for each other is wait until you’re financially stable and able to deal with any unexpected expenses that might pop up.
Do you share the same vision?
This isn’t only for the future but also for right now. If you’re both in different phases of your life and you’re unable to come together and share a similar goal, my advice is to wait until you’re both ready. It’s also important to look at your future and figure out where you both see yourself and be clear about your intentions. If one person thinks they’re moving into a forever home while the other is planning a short stay to save money before moving on or travelling, you’re both setting yourselves up for disappointment. Always communicate with your partner about what living together means for you and how you can see yourselves fitting together before you make this big step.
Are you using this to fix your issues?
Moving in together should be fun and exciting, but if you’re using it as a way to become closer to your partner and mend any issues, you’re setting yourself up for failure. You may think that sharing a living space and seeing each other more can help heal some of your problems, but truth be told it doesn’t work like that. Put time into working through your issues and communicating with your SO before you move your relationship forward in this way.
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Do you fight often?
It’s perfectly normal to have disagreements or arguments in any relationship and as long as they’re treated with respect, you have nothing to worry about. However, if you and your SO are fighting, belittling or raising your voices at each other frequently, you may want to reassess if this relationship is right for you. Moving in together is not going to fix any issues creating this conflict and in most cases, it will likely make it worse. Living in close quarters will naturally brew up disagreements in the happiest of couples, so if you are used to going to be made at each other most nights, it’s probably best to have your own space while you work through your issues.
Are you more nervous than excited?
It’s okay to be nervous about moving in with your SO, but if it’s overshadowing your excitement and causing you anxiety, you might want to assess if you’re really ready to move in together. We all love spending copious amounts of time with our SO, but merging your life in this way is a big step that requires patience and communication. If you’re worried about how living together might affect your relationship, have an honest chat with your partner and let them know how you’re feeling – chances are they’re feeling it too.
Is your gut saying stay where you are?
For the most part, always listen to your gut! From my experience, it’s one of the best things you can do when making big life decisions because 9 out of 10 times, your intuition is right. If you’re questioning whether it’s the right time, wait until you’re 100% happy with the choice. Moving in together isn’t easy and if you’re not in the right head space to make certain changes to your lifestyle, you and your SO’s health and happiness may suffer. It isn’t selfish to put yourself first so if you need to say no, go ahead and do it.
How long did you wait before you moved in with your SO?
Written by Sophia Ivory
Curly hair and she don’t care, this stylish babe plays by her own rules. With a love for dance and all things body positive, you’ll usually find her searching out the latest fashion trends and digging through local thrift stores. Word of warning, don’t bring your dachshund around her, she’ll want to keep it.
Check out her Instagram for all things goals! @sophiaivory