“We all want to do a good job at this thing called life, right? We want the home, the family, the body, the business, the bank account. But sometimes, this desire to get things right holds us back rather than drives us forward. Sometimes it makes life worse rather than better. It happens when we move from wanting to be great, to wanting to be perfect.
Carlie Maree is a life strategist who works with female leaders to help them achieve success in a way that feels good and to live a life they love on their own terms. Here she talks about why we need to throw ‘being perfect’ out the window and how to overcome overwhelm in our lives.
We are living in a time where nobody feels ‘good enough’. No matter how insta-perfect we can get life to look, we still feel somehow unfulfilled. Why? Because perfect is an illusion. It is impossible to succeed when you are aiming for something that isn’t real. Many people wear their perfectionism like a badge of honor. ‘I’m a perfectionist’ is often said with pride, like it’s something to strive towards.
Forgetting perfectionism has had the most wonderfully positive effect on my life – I no longer stress about how something will work out. I’ve been able to show up in the world and grow my business much faster than I would have if I was still agonizing over every little detail.
So, here are five simple ways you can start to say goodbye to your perfectionism.
Know your values – Ask yourself, what’s important to me?
Our values are what drives us. If you are doing life in alignment with your values, it’s easy to feel content and fulfilled. Make a list of all the things that truly matter to you. Then, make space for those things to grow in your life.
Forget perfection and strive for growth, happiness, health, love, connection – whatever it is that matters to you most! Look inside for the standards that you want to live your life by.
You can do anything, but you can’t do everything. So, choose wisely what you will give your time and headspace to.
Change your focus – Work towards excellence by aiming for improvement rather than perfection.
The desire to live a good life drives us forward and motivates us to make positive changes. It’s great to want to be better. But positive change made from a place of love and gratitude is so much easier to create.
Fall in love with your own perfectly imperfect life. Celebrate it, share it, nurture it, give it your attention. Keep working on being better rather than perfect.
Ask yourself each day, how can I bring more meaning into my life? How can I feel great today? And then do the things to achieve that.
Be the change
A shift is happening. The body love movement is encouraging women to embrace and celebrate who they are. We are seeing bloggers sharing more of the real and raw side of their lives, and their readers are loving it.
Authentic is the new perfect. You can be a part of that change.
When you allow yourself to be seen with your imperfections, you give others permission to do the same – which is a beautiful gift to give.
Curate your feed
Your newsfeed is a living, breathing vision board. Choose wisely what you consume, online and otherwise.
Protect your energy fiercely. If something comes up in your feed that makes you feel anything other than amazing, hide it.
Social media algorithms are designed to help us curate what we see, so that we can enjoy our time on the platforms.
When you consciously create what you see and hear, you consciously create your life.
Celebrate your uniqueness
If there’s one thing I want my children to know, is that it’s okay to be different. We can’t expect our kids to love and accept themselves if we are spending all of our time trying to meet someone else’s idea of the ideal life.
No one else can be you. You are the one thing no one else is. That is what makes you special. Trying to be someone else will always, always lead to failure and disappointment. There is one thing that you can’t possibly fail at, and that’s being you.
There is no such thing as certainty. If you are waiting for certainty that something will be perfect, you are waiting for a bus that isn’t coming. I can’t be certain that everyone will like this article I’m writing right now, but I’m willing to put it out there anyway.
Being willing to try things even though they won’t be ‘perfect’, is how we grow. And often, it’s in the things that go awry that the most wisdom is gained.
Do you strive to meet “perfect”?