Whether you’re in a brand new relationship or are long term lovers who have been married for years, one of the most important elements in a successful relationship is intimacy. To encourage Kiwi’s to prioritise intimacy, sexual wellness brand Lovehoney’s Ambassador and resident ‘sexpert’ Tamica Wilder has put together her five top tips for getting that spark back – and it’s definitely not all to do with the bedroom!
- Communicate and make intimacy goals together
The first step to prioritising intimacy in your relationship is to talk about it. Think about how you would like to enhance your intimacy and maximise your pleasure and talk to your partner about it openly. Are your needs being met? Do you need more affection? Are you having enough sex? Do you want to try something new? Be clear and specific with your needs because the more open and honest you are, the easier it will be to make intimacy goals together that will ultimately allow you both to feel closer and emotionally fulfilled.
- Practice self love
We all know you have to love yourself before you can love somebody else, so when it comes to boosting intimacy, knowing what turns you on is key. Take some solo time to explore what you like. Treating yourself to a new sex toy may help you create variety and support your self-curiosity. Once you’re comfortable with your own self pleasure, you can invite your partner to join in on the action, and take your intimacy to the next level.
- Schedule date night.
Sometimes life can seem like it’s going at full speed, so it’s important to dedicate time to slow down, and spend quality, uninterrupted time with your partner. So switch off those phones, lose the distractions and prioritise a loved-up evening together. It could be as simple as cooking a romantic meal, or hitting the town to check out that new bar you’ve been meaning to go to. Whatever the activity, as long as you’re both present and focused on each other, your intimacy will grow.
- Reconnect physically
Carve out some regular time for physical connection. Sex toys and sexual aids can be great tools to help boost intimacy in your personal relationship. Something as simple as a sensual massage may be the perfect way to reconnect with your partner’s body using massage candles and oils. There is a sensuality and intimacy in stroking and caressing the arms, legs, back and chest of your partner. If you can’t physically be with your partner, try an app controlled toy to pleasure your partner from anywhere in the world via your phone.
- Add elements of surprise
In long term relationships, it’s easy to fall into habits and patterns when it comes to our sexual repertoire. Those same 3 positions we cycle between, the same old bedroom sex at the same time of night, and sometimes it can be difficult to introduce new things when we’re so used to following the same script. So why not shake things up by surprising your partner with something special. Whether you want to indulge in some sexy lingerie, a kinky card game, or even a new sex toy to try together, your partner will be thrilled that you’ve made the effort to try something new.
Tamica Wilder AKA The Orgasmic Mama is a Melbourne based somatic sex coach and multi-qualified therapist with a deep passion for teaching humans to re-attune to the wisdom of our bodies while giving full permission to shamelessly prioritise pleasure and play.
She believes that our current cultural narratives around sex, intimacy, pleasure and relationships need a damn good shake up! – Never one to shy away from a challenge, Tamica is committed to leading the charge.
WorkIng with our sexuality, intimacy and the less mastered parts of our human nature can be a tricky and intricate piece of the personal development puzzle. Tamica brings 18 plus years of facilitation and group work experience and guides with compassion, humour, gentleness, love and curiosity, in all that she does.
As a Mother of 2, she is also well attuned to the importance of creating sex-positive families and helps parents build the confidence to have ‘those chats’ with thier kids and other family members.
Tamicas work will arm you with the tools you need to create lasting and meaningful change inside your intimate relationships, your somatic understanding and reminds you of all that’s possible inside your full and authentic sexual expression.
Visit https://www.theorgasmicmama.com/ for more information.
How important is intimacy to you in your relationship?