If being in a relationship right now isn’t your thing, why not try your hand at a friends with benefits relationship? Having a no-strings attached hook-up with someone you have a connection with can be a lot of fun, but that doesn’t mean it can’t get complicated too.
There’s no right way to be in a FWB relationship because every situation is different, but as long as you’re communicating honestly with your bedroom buddy there’s no reason why you can’t minimise potential fallouts. If you’re new to the FWB game, we’ve put together a few guidelines you might want to consider to keep the relationship mutually respectful and full of fun.
Before you do anything be honest, are you ready for a casual relationship?
The idea of having a no-strings attached, flirty sex-fest with a friend might sound like a great idea but like with any relationship, it’s important to ask yourself one question – am I ready for this? The reality of a FWB relationship is that you might not be the only person they’re having sex with. If you’re feeling a little emotionally unbalanced at the moment or you’re known amongst your group as ‘the territorial one’, having a FWB might not be for you.
It’s also important to check in with yourself throughout your fling. Emotions can be a tricky bitch and it isn’t unusual to find yourself going from a mutually casual romp to a one-sided crush. Be sure to stay honest with yourself, communicate with your FWB partner and enjoy the ride – literally.
Friends with benefits 101 – the guidelines
Make sure you and your partner know what you want
When deciding the rules of your FWB relationship, make sure to keep the conversation very transparent. Be open to compromises and keep conversations open and not one sided. Keep the relationship in a neutral environment so you are able to express yourself without the feeling judged. Come from a place of honesty and care, because at the end of the day you are doing this for yourself and your own pleasure. Comfort is key.
Set some ground rules.
Is it okay for you to sleep over? Are booty calls a yay or nay? Is okay to make some toast and coffee the next morning? Each person will have their own boundaries so it is good to figure out their desired situation early on. This way neither of you will cross negative boundaries, and are able to feel comfortable with each other.
You might be hooking up with more than one person – and that is awesome! Just make sure you’re being safe with every person. If you are in a heterosexual relationship, it is a good idea to let your partners know what kind of birth control you’re using so there is no confusion. If you are participating in a nonexclusive hookup, make sure you talk about how often you plan to get tested for STIs. If you are participating in a nonexclusive sexual relationship, make sure to let your FWB know if you are sleeping with other people so they are informed that not only that you are so hot that you might be unavailable, but there may be additional health risks. Just, use condoms ladies. Just do it.
Get a read on your partners feelings
Having conversations like ‘Hey, just want to check in with you about how things are going between us’ will prevent future disappointment and will also strengthen the friendship, the trust, and the vulnerability with each other. But this also will stop one person from reading too much into the relationship, so if feelings grow you are able to have a conversation about it and revaluate your FWB situation. Because FWB relationships can change at the snap of a finger, you want to make sure you check in with each other as often as needed to avoid misunderstandings.
Obviously make sure you’re having fun
One blessing in this world is that we can have sex with whomever we want, whenever we want, should the circumstances allow it. The person doesn’t have to be someone we’re in a long-term, committed relationship with. Sex can be a great way to destress, has more than a few amazing health and beauty benefits plus, it is a hell of a lot of fun. And the minute your friends-with-benefit situation stops being fun? Call it off. After all, that is the true beauty of the casual arrangement.
Written by Sophia Ivory
Curly hair and she don’t care, this stylish babe plays by her own rules. With a love for dance and all things body positive, you’ll usually find her searching out the latest fashion trends and digging through local thrift stores. Word of warning, don’t bring your dachshund around her, she’ll want to keep it.
Check out her Instagram for all things goals! @sophiaivory