If the relationship was 1 month or 1 year, breakups can leave us feeling broken, lost, confused and maybe physically ill. It sucks that there is no magic cure to heal the pain of a split, but having healthy coping mechanisms is a safe and essential place to start the journey of getting over and ex and moving on. We’re going to get you back to that baddie everyone knew you were!
“Even if the relationship wasn’t great, you’re still starting at ground zero,” Sheri Meyers, marriage therapist and author of “Chatting or Cheating” told the Hufington Post. “The first thing you need to anticipate, no matter where you are in the process, is that there is a grieving [period]. There is a sense of abandonment, there is a sense of terror about the future, there is disappointment… There is a process of going from we back to me.”
Concentrate and treat yourself through the post-breakup period. Whether you initiated the split or were on the receiving end. People day time heals emotional wounds, while that is still true. You can speed up the process a little by taking control of yourself. Making healthy decisions and concentrating on your well being.
To help you on your way, we’ve rounded up five simple, expert-approved strategies for coping with breakup stress.
Write or Talk It Out.
Your feelings are valid. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. Holding in your feelings will slowly destroy you and you will break. Find someone to chat with, and let literally everything out. Every last tear! If you don’t want to talk, write it down! Scribble all over that page! Feel those emotions! The more you hold it in the worse you’ll feel when they come out. Once you say your feelings, you stop thinking so heavily about it.
Take Care Of Your Body.
A lot of people after a breakup decide to go on a diet because we often think of looking our best as a way to get revenge on an ex. This can sadly become a easily way to punish yourself, reinforcing feelings of rejection and sadness. As well as encouraging an unhealthy relationship with food. Instead of restricting calories or Marcos, start eating nourishing whole foods that are high in fiber, protein and nutrients to increase mood and energy. A balanced diet with plenty of fresh foods can change the physiological stress of the breakup.
Avoid mindless eating and try not to turn food as a coping mechanism. You’re welcome to indulge, but try not to keep too much junk food around, as foods that are high in fat, sugar and salt can actually contribute to higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
Get Active (But Don’t Over-Exercise)
Let those endorphins run wild. Cardio is often prescribed as a way to get over a relationship. This is for a bliming good reason. Cardio like dance, zumba, running or the elliptical can lower stress levels and improve mood. I know exercise is the very last thing you want to be doing when you feel heartbroken. But it’s a distraction, the act of exercise gets you out of your head and focus on your body.
“After a breakup, we tend to want to sit and cuddle and huddle and cry, and talk to our girlfriends and feel bad about ourselves,” says Meyers. “So getting out and moving is really essential because it’s almost the opposite of what we feel like doing, which is shutting down and feeling sorry for ourselves.”
But be careful not to over-exercise, Like over-eating or excessively dieting, exercise can become a compulsive behavior. Be active enough that you enjoy it and its not punishment.
Remind Yourself Of All The Great Things In Your Life.
“It’s so easy to see the loss as everything, and then it starts overwhelming the good in all of your life,”
The pain of a breakup can cloud all the positive you have in your life. You struggle to acknowledge all the things you appreciate, because you are so concentrated on all things negative. Surround yourself with positive things and people. Remember what you’re grateful for. Studies have shown that listing things you’re thankful for can boost your well-being and brighten your outlook on life. You may initially have to force yourself to think of things you’re grateful for, but as you repeat the process, the bad won’t feel so all-consuming anymore. (And you might end up being grateful you don’t have to deal with an ex’s bad habits!)
Do Things YOU Love.
After a bad breakup, it’s really difficult to go out and do the things you loved before the split. The only way to start enjoying yourself again is to force yourself to get out and do them anyway with people you know you’ll have a good time or trust. Treat yourself to something that make you feel good, whether it’s a cup of coffee with a friend, shopping spree or a manicure. Self-care is so important to the healing process, and doing things that make you smile can help you heal.
Try going to the movies to check out a new comedy or inviting your friends over to marathon-watch “Arrested Development”: Laughing has been shown to boost mood and improve overall health, and the support of your friends will help ease feelings of loneliness and isolation.
“Laughter helps us speed up healing, both emotionally and physically,” says Meyers.
You can do this. Everything does happens for a reason.
You are strong.
You are beautiful.
You are loved,
AND NEVER FORGET THAT.
Written by Sophia Ivory
Curly hair and she don’t care, this stylish babe plays by her own rules. With a love for dance and all things body positive, you’ll usually find her searching out the latest fashion trends and digging through local thrift stores. Word of warning, don’t bring your dachshund around her, she’ll want to keep it.
Check out her Instagram for all things goals! @sophiaivory