There’s no doubt that it takes a lot of flexing to make a strong relationship. But with enough heavy lifting – and heavy talking – things seem to fall into place. It’s so critical – a healthy relationship raises a healthy family (if you’re at that stage) and brings oodles and oodles of joy.
I think telling your partner you love them every day is important, but showing them just how much is even more critical. You can show your partner how much you love them by continually getting to know them. The only way to do that, is to ask the right questions and say the right things.
We know how much our thoughts, feelings, ideas and opinions can change from one day to the next – your partner is exactly the same. That’s what makes us humans so endlessly fascinating and, more to the point, that’s what makes monogamy even half-way achievable.
So, here are 10 things I think you should say to your partner, every single day.
Often it’s the little things that we forget when we’re with the people we love the most. As kids are reminded, pleases and thank yous are very important – they show you respect the person you are talking to. Do you remember your manners around your partner?
I love it how you…
Noticing the things your partner does and complimenting them on it is a lovely way to show them that they matter. I love it how you do your job so well. I love it how you butter the toast like that. I love it how you talk to my girlfriends. I love it how you make me feel.
How was your day?
So many couples are apart all day but forget to catch up on what they’ve been up. Do that too often and it starts to feel like you’re living separate lives. Ask your Significant Other how their day was and actively listen to their response. Find out about what they do all day, the people they engage with and the way it makes them feel.
What are you looking forward to?
Much of the joy in life is looking forward to something. It’s one of the best things ever. Looking forward to something is full of hope, anticipation, positivity and excitement. What’s your partner most looking forward to today? If they can’t think of anything, it’s time to make something happen!
What do you think about…
Lots of us forget to ask our partner’s opinions on things we’re doing… go on, ask what they think about the things you’re currently working on. Your latest project at work? A holiday to Bali or Hawaii? Themselves?
Oh, those two little words really do make the world go around. When was the last time you gave your partner a genuine apology for something you know you did wrong? Going cap in hand takes guts, but it smooths life’s ripples far better than waiting for the storm to past. You can’t always be right and even if you can’t accept that you’re wrong, there’s nothing wrong with giving your S.O a big hug and saying, “I’m sorry we can’t agree on this one. What can we do to fix it?” Every relationship needs an injection of humility from time to time.
I love being around you
“I love you” is one thing, but “I love being with you” is something else entirely. Being great company makes us all feel good so remember to tell your S.O just how you enjoy being together. A daily acknowledgement of what a great team you are cements you as a unit, tackling life together with good grace and humour.
This is a little extension of the “I’m sorry” reminder. Being sorry is hard, but admitting you’re wrong is even harder. The thing is, in a relationship it’s just so criticial to give credit where credit is due. Even if you’ve fought about a topic for days. Even if you were adamant you were right until you realised you weren’t. Even if your partner’s going to say “I told you so” – tell them they were right. It’s important that they know.
I missed you all day
They’re a source of great comfort, joy and acknowledgement in your life, so it’s okay to let them know that you miss them when you’re not together. A little text or phone call. A quick picture of what you’re doing via text or snapchat. The world’s biggest snuggle when you see each other that night. Or even just making your partner their favourite dinner. Being missed makes you feel needed and that’s a great feeling altogether.
Let’s have an early night
You might not be swinging from the stripper pole every single night of the week, but make sure you make time for intimacy every single day. Go to bed a little earlier, wake up a little earlier, use commercial breaks wisely – however you do it, just do it together as often as you possibly can. It matters.
Written by Steph Graham
The girl you want by your side during any major life event, Steph is a decorating boss and a baking Queen. You’ll usually find her getting tipsy at a bottomless brunch, playing basketball and Insta-stalking the Hemsworth brothers.
Favourite 90s rap song: No Diggity by Blackstreet